Friday, January 22, 2010
Why?!?!
Why do awful things happen to good people? And why does it always seem like people who aren't so good, get the best of everything? Maybe it's because our God is not a respector of persons. It's our own little human minds that make us believe that we deserve something more than death. It's as if because we serve God we are subject to some sort of cheap favors from him. Now granted, he loves us and I believe that he does bless the righteous of heart and keep them from something that might other wise harm them, but he loves the ones who don't pray constantly, never read the bible, and have never set foot inside a church. For me that's a hard thing to wrap my head around. I guess the scripture that says it is not by works that we inherit the kingdom but only by faith. Sometimes i wonder why all of these awful things are happeing all around me, children are sick, men and women are leaving their families in search of "true happiness" out there that will never be found, disease, perverseness, murder...what in this world is going on? I can only sit back and be thankful for what i DO have int his life. Yeah i don't have a husband who's around, but i have great children and a good job....isn't that enough? These days keep rolling by and i feel as if i'm slipping into a kind of trance. Like i'm not really living anymore, just breathing, and walking, nothing else. I sometimes wonder if this is all this life has to offer me, but there I go again expecting to feel happy and my life to be perfect all the time. Oh well i guess for now i'll just walk...until i feel the life breathed back into me.
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i stumbled across your blog and wanted to let you know i'm praying for you and your children. if a man is willing to break up his home and leave his kids to potentially be raised by another man, he isn't truly a man. and all you can do in your current phase of life is continue to walk, as you said. living for your children, living for the God that has given us all life, praising him for each moment, good or bad, that he blesses us with. as hard as it may be now, remember all the other hard experiences you've had in life and when you may have asked God what (the hell) he was doing, realizing in the end he knew what (the hell) he was doing :)...i find i can always see his master plan in hindsight, but during the storm it's never clear, and i NEVER fail in doubting him during the storm, and i ask his forgiveness for my doubt after i see what he had in store for me. please keep us updated on your progress and know that you are being lifted up in prayer.
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